Chapter 15

She pulled the pillow to her and hugged it hard. How the hell had he gotten her shirt off? Jesus, she never let go like that, not since she was fourteen. And Shannon, she'd seen, God help her she'd seen. Why couldn't she get a handle on all those emotions? Up, Down, Around and around, it was like being on a freaking roller coaster and she didn't do roller coasters. It wasn't who she was anymore.

It still hurt though, how easily he’d moved on. He’d resolved the old feelings and continued on while she'd never resolved it, not really. Thanks to Mom moving and then finally her illness she'd just stuffed it into some deep dark corner of her soul, and all it had taken to open it back up was his stupid silly smile and him calling her metal mouth. Jesus she was insane, there was no doubt about it.

Richie paced in front of her door. Why was he so unsure of himself? Why didn't he just go in there and finish what they'd started? Because it was Mel, that's why. She wasn't just some conquest to add to his collection. She had been his best friend. He'd thought she always would be but he'd screwed that up, somehow... He still didn't know what went so wrong. It had been so perfect! He couldn't have wished for a better first experience. He'd been flyin' high for days afterward, so had she. For the first time in their topsy turvy relationship everything had been perfect.

It didn't last.. not at all...as soon as he'd joined his first band she'd changed, or so he thought. Now he wasn’t so sure. All he knew was that it had went downhill from there, they grew further and further apart and the usually innocent verbal jabs turned icy. Soon after that she'd moved, no explanation, nothing, just gone from his life. It had hurt but he'd never let anyone know how deep. [i]It’s why I never get involved now though, why no one ever fits.[/i] The more he thought the angrier he got... he deserved an explanation damn it!

Finally he quit pacing and banged on the door. "Mellie!! No response. His brow furrowed as his fist lifted to the door again. “Mel let me in!"

She jerked as the sound reverberated into the room, her shoulders tightening as she brushed away the few tears that had gathered. Biting her lip she sat up and yelled, "If you can't figure out how to open a fuckin' door you can just stay out there. I ain’t opening it for you."

With a growl he jiggled the knob. "It's locked damn it!" He kicked lightly at the bottom for emphasis.

She muttered as she sat there, that lock was always shifty, he'd opened it scores of times. He was the only one who had ever managed to get past the lock. Seems he'd forgotten that too. "Looks like you’re stuck out there then, seems like you've forgotten even more than I realized. You DORK! Didn't want ya in here anyhows."

She whimpered as the words left her lips. That was the problem though, wasn't it? She was lying through her teeth, she wanted him in here, but she wanted Dork, the one who knew her, the one who remembered, but he'd been replaced with some music crazed guitar freak who hadn't given her the time of day once the girls started liking him.

"Forgot... what?" Richie felt his chest puff up indignantly as he fumbled with the door knob. His voice rose in frustration "I haven't forgotten ANYTHING Mel! I tried damn it, I did try, but damn you to hell you never really went away!!" His voice was roaring by the time the lock finally slipped. The door rushed open and revealed his hulking form, eyes flashing, chest heaving.

He slammed the door behind him with resounding finality

She folded into herself, and around the pillow, nothing on her moving but her eyes as she took in that body of his. She could feel the anger rolling off of him, that frustrated, dammit Mel stop it anger. Her voice was soft, nearly nonexistent as she sighed. "Yeah you did. You forgot me."

"No I didn't!" he exclaimed as he glowered down at her "How could I?? After what we......." he stopped and let out a sigh "After what we shared..... how could I? You're the one who freaked out Mel! One day we were fine and the next.... You said you hated me..." his shoulders slumped in defeat "I just don't get why..."

Her hands tightened into the pillow as she forced herself to remain cool and unemotional. “I mean.. one day you were all comfort and helpful cuz Dad was gone then suddenly you weren’t. You joined that band, which was great. I was so happy for you! But then the girls happened and then….. Cuz of the music and girls you…” She paused, the tears welling up no matter how she tried to stop them. “I went one night to talk to you and there were all these girls and you were "Darlin this, and Darlin that," they were all over you. You walked right by me as if I weren’t even there."

She glanced up, the band-aid ripping slightly from the wound. "Couldn't let you see how it hurt me, I just couldn't, so I had to make you hurt instead, and all ya did was throw it back at me."

Richie sat hard on the edge of the bed and ran his hands thru his hair trying to remember, trying to make sense of it. He'd been no more than 15 or 16 but still he'd been given a chance. The music, it had been all about the music. He remembered all the girls... in the beginning it had been a such a shock and yeah he'd played it up! Of course he had! It was all part of the scene... but they didn't mean anything to him.... they weren't Mel...

"Mel, I....." He'd hurt her and he hadn't even known. Fuck, it was just one great big misunderstanding. She thought he’d moved on but he hadn't... not until she'd turned Ice Queen. Until that point there had only been her.

He sighed, what could he say? "Mel I'm sorry.."

She managed a smile, "It's why I yelled or teased you more than ever, you seemed to respond to that. You, well you saw me then. If I wasn't yelling you just went off with the crowd. Pushing you away made you pay attention."

"I always saw you Mel."

Her brow flicked upwards, disbelief shining in her eyes. "Always?"

"Yeah..." He sighed again. It was so hard to explain, even now years later. "I just... didn't know what to do.. I mean we were... kids.... You made me feel so....Damn it Mel I was so in love with you back then but what the hell did I know about all that? "

Hell what did either of them know? She had no basis for anything back then, it was all about her friend, the one she could rely on. "Hell I dunno Rich, but one day you were there and I could just be me, you were there I could rely on you, and then you weren't. Dunno bout love, I mean I loved you and hated ya from that first day you pulled my hair, but.. it all changed, I lost my friend. Dammit, I hated you for stealing my friend." She hadn't trusted guys since, and that was stupid she knew, but the one guy she'd trusted had stolen it away and she'd never found it again, the trust that someone would be there for her.

He knew she was right, he'd gotten so caught up in it all. But he'd wanted to share it with her and she'd seemed so disinterested, it was a no end path she'd said but he just knew someday..... He sighed. Well, he'd gotten what he wanted in respect to music but in the process he'd lost a friend, a lover..... She was his one and only regret.

He turned to face her "I don't know what else to say Mel except I am sorry.. I never meant to make you feel that way. I honestly thought, well, I thought we'd always be together."

He'd been the first, hell, he'd been the only, and now after growing up he was saying he was sorry. It didn't take away the pains of the past, but at least he understood. His final words filtered into her over-worked brain, she straightened and muttered; "you what?"

He gave a light emotional laugh, full of regret, "Yeah... I had it all planned out.. I'd be a big rock star, you'd be my girl, and we’d live it up."

Her lip quirked up slightly, "Well in true Dork fashion you got half of it right, at least I think you did if Shannon's right."

He cut his eyes her way. What to do now? The past was the past; they couldn't change it, no matter how hard they wished. He couldn't deny it, even after all these years, she still made his heart pound. He watched her a moment, pondering how to start to fix things when the light bulb went on. A quick smile hit his lips. "Can I have my shirt back?"

Her brow arched as she twisted to look his way. Of all the damn fool things to change the subject to. He wanted his shirt? Her eyes flashed as she jumped from the bed. "All we just .. and you want..." She turned to stomp to the closet to find something to change into, her arms lifting to pull the shirt from her body. Tossing it over her shoulder she muttered, "here have the stupid old thing back, didn't like it any way.”

He hid a smirk and tugged the shirt over his head. "Get dressed Mel."

She pulled a shirt from the closet and slipped it on, buttoning it to the top quickly before turning. "Bossy, domineering…." She whirled around, "You are such a dork! Of course I'd get dressed; I ain’t going to run around naked in front of YOU of all people."

"Shut up Mel," he stated calmly.

Her eyes fired as she stepped closer. "Make me Scarecrow!"

He leaned in and placed a light chaste kiss on the tip of her upturned nose "Richie... my name is Richie."

"Nuhuh, not to me." Her brows waggled as she took a step back., "You’re Scarecrow."

"Ok fine... Scarecrow..Have it your way...." He reached out and took her hand as the plan started to form in his mind. He had to get her out of here, give her a chance to see him in the here and now. She had to see him someplace where the memories didn’t keep painting him in Dorkiness. Hell to be honest he needed to be someplace to escape it too. "Whaddya say we get outta here? Follow the yellow brick road?"

Her hand tightened around his as the first honest laugh of the day escaped her. "You usually brought that with you wherever you went. Never did land in Oz.. just in trouble."

Richie grinned "well whaddya say we go dig up some trouble hmmm? Just like old times?"

That silly sparkle was in those droopy eyes, and she couldn't resist their lure. Hell she was a weakling, those eyes always made her weak, he could talk her into anything now just like he always could. "Where too?"

"It's a secret...... trust me?"

She tilted her head, and watched as his eyes alternately sparkled or shadowed and knew he was waiting on her answer. She tapped her finger against her chin as she considered the question. Did she trust him? She did oddly enough, but she couldn't tell him that. "Not on your life, but I'll go anyway."

The pins and needles he’d felt waiting for her answer vanished in a puff of laughter.With wide grin he pulled her from the room.