Chapter 28

He paused then looked at Shannon "And you..... you don't know what you’re getting into Shay your just not the kind of girl to deal with it."

Shannon's mouth open and closed in shock. "And SHE is?” She sputtered a moment before continuing, “I'm not..... YOU... you don't know me RICHIE," she spat his name.

"Shan," Mel forced a smile to her lips, "You wanted someone who knows him to do the talking. You gotta admit HE knows Jon best."

Her anger once aimed only at her sister waned a bit and focused full force on this man, this overwhelming presence that had turned everything upside down. "Oh what? I'm not beautiful enough? Not glamorous enough? Not a movie star? What’s wrong with me just liking the guy?"

"Sounded to me like you were doin' a little more than just likin' him a little bit ago," Richie said sarcastically and felt a bit of satisfaction as he watched her face turn bright red.

Her eyes shot to Shannon and watched the blush bloom on her face. Dear God had she been so swept up in Richie she'd not noticed? She pulled herself from his arms and stepped forward, her hands going up to rub her suddenly chilly arms. "YOU didn’t!"

The words were there, bubbling just at the tip of her tongue, but that blush, that deer caught in the headlights look stopped her dead in her tracks. Calm coolness washed in to force all the tumbling feelings of her heart back into its cold little corner. Slivers of memory past rose to mix with what Richie had mentioned of life on the road. "Oh sis just be careful. Here today, gone tomorrow, you'll get hurt.”

Shannon couldn't speak, just the tone of her sister’s voice said more than words ever could. Mel wasn't talking about Jon, not then. She eyed both Mel and Richie taking in the look of hurt on Richie’s face and look of utter loss on Mel's. Things were starting to make so much more sense. Jon had been right, there was a lot more to this than she knew. There was more history between them than anybody knew, she'd bet her life on it. This was not good.

Shannon reigned in her temper "I am being careful, I promise," she almost whispered grabbing for her purse and the car keys.

Mel nodded watching as she grabbed her keys. "What or.. well, where are you going sis?"

Shannon shrugged, looking defeated. "Chinese take out."

"Just go buy a defrosted roast sis. Cook him a real meal if that’s what you want, just nothing frozen ok?" She wasn't too sure about these new feelings her sister had for the poofy headed singer, but they seemed important to her, so she had to play it straight, had to consider her feelings first. "Ok? Just go pick up a roast you can cook."

Shannon brightened just a bit. Was Mel coming around? "Will you help me? When I get back?"

Richie watched incredulous as Mel, instead of being up front and honest with her sister, seemed to fall into placating her. What the fuck? He remained silent, his mind whirling with confusion.

She closed her eyes and forced it back, the terror, the fear, the overwhelming emotional tumble and tried to smile. "Of course I will."

A real smile lit up her face as she gave her sister a quick hug "I'll be right back!" She said excitedly and headed out the door completely ignoring the tall dark man standing there looking bewildered beyond all belief.

She watched Shannon leave then sighed, her hands going to her face as she fought back the tears that threatened. It was too hard, too difficult to manage. God help her she was so lost. Was she talking about Shan and Jon? Was all she thought only wrapped around the fact he'd be leaving in a few days too? God help her she was so confused, too confused. She couldn't live like that.

Richie stepped close to her trying to draw her into his arms. Why was she fighting so much? Why did she insist on holding in everything?

She wanted to melt back into his arms, those familiar arms that had always soothed her, but if she did she'd lose herself again, lose the Mel that was keeping the one thing she'd had her whole life. She might lose Shannon accepting all the things those arms promised.

Richie felt her resistance and sighed. This was going be harder than he thought. He released her and offered her a weak smile, "So we’re cookin' are we?" He eyed the kitchen and saw unwashed dishes. "Well guess I might as well make myself useful." He began to fill the sink. It was ok, he could be patient. Let her work through it in her mind. He'd show her. When she was ready to accept him again, trust him again, he'd be right there. Arms open....

She turned to watch him, a frown flickering into her eyes. "Guests don't wash dishes."

He raised an eyebrow. "I know."

She took a few steps forward, taking the dish cloth from his hands. "Well if you know why are you doing the dishes?"

"Because I'm not a guest.. ain’t been a guest in this house since I was six." He took the cloth back from her.

She huffed out an exasperated breath. "She wants to cook for HIM, let her do the dishes."

"You said you'd help." He began washing. "IF you didn't want to why'd ya say you would?"

She couldn't stop herself from dipping her head to brace on his back, couldn't stop the warring emotions that threatened to consume her. "To keep her happy."

"Well, what about YOUR happiness?" he asked softly

"Don't deserve to be happy.” She closed her eyes at the admission. She'd never told a soul that, why'd she tell him? She wanted to yank the words back, wanted to go back to keeping it in. She backed from him quickly, maybe he'd not get it though, she could play it off somehow. "I mean..."

He dropped the dish rag and wiped his hands. "Mel.." he turned quickly pulling her near. "Everyone deserves happiness honey." He sighed then continued. "Look, I'll make ya a deal darlin'...... I'll do my best to help you keep little Miss Shay happy, ok? BUT you have to promise me you'll try to trust me... you'll try to trust yourself..... you'll try to just... be you..."

He watched as shattered amber eyes lifted, and the body he felt was built and meant for him started to tremble. Her next words worried him more than all of her rants combined.

"I don't deserve it, Shit, you have too much on your plate to be worrying about Shan or me. I can't be me.. I don't deserve what ME could have!"

"Yes you do deserve it and I'll worry about whomever I damn well please! PLEASE Mel.... give me this chance.. give US this chance!" He heard himself pleading and shook his head. When had he ever had to beg for anything from anyone?

"Why would you want a chance with someone who can't..." She felt it roaring, felt the dark cold screeching into the very air she breathed. She could see it coming and she couldn't stop. "Keep one damn person alive when it mattered most?"

"What ?" he asked in concerned confusion

Tears begin to spill down her cheeks as she backed into the corner, the words spilling out unabated, "she didn’t die of a broken heart, she ... she just got sicker and sicker and I was so angry with her from the time she moved us. I didn't pay attention I didn't watch..."

"Who? What are you...?" Richie watched the tears and stepped to her. "Watch who?"

"Ma, I didn't watch her careful enough."