Chapter 32

Shannon heard the murmur of voices from the living room, peeked her head inconspicuously around the corner once, saw Jon and Richie engaged in intent conversation and smiled warmly. Even through all the chaos of the last few days they still managed to remain sane to each other, or at least warmly friendly. It was nice to see.

She checked the roast one last time mentally thanking whoever had prepared the garnishings for her. She'd just thrown it all in the oven pan and set it to 400. She set about cleaning up and setting the table for two, with a candelabra in the center. She’d light it in just a bit.

While the roast was finishing and the men were talking she snuck off to shower and make herself look just a little better, nothing too fancy but just enough to make him notice. She dressed in a simple black skirt, soft coral colored peasant style shirt and strappy black flat sandals. Tamed her curls into somewhat of a style and slicked her lips with clear gloss. There that’s better.

She returned to the kitchen in time to hear Richie closing the door behind him and Mel. She removed their dinner from the oven and after setting it on a serving platter on the table, lit the candle and called out, "Hey Jon.... it's done..."

He pushed off the couch and started to the kitchen only to stop dead at the girl before the table. Gone was the coltish looking girl and a woman had taken her place. Taking a glance at the table his eyes returned to her as he fought the urge to lick his lips. "Looking good."

Her eyes darted nervously towards him, she wasn’t sure if he was talking about the food or her. She clasped her hands nervously and nodded towards his chair, she'd never gone out of her way to try to make a man happy before and didn't know if what she had done was right or even.. wanted but...

She placed two glasses on the table, filled them with soda and said "sit... please," before going to her chair and seating herself.

He glanced at the soda then at her and moved to help push her chair in. "Roast? Been forever since I had anything other than hotel food or fast food."

She smiled "Well I'm definitely no 5 star chef, but I figured maybe you were kinda tired of Mc'donalds and Chinese take out."

He grinned as she dished up the food. "Well it gets a bit repetitive."

"I had no idea what to make.... what’s your favorite anyway?" she asked hoping he'd warmed up to talking a bit more about himself than he had so far.

His head tilted as he laughed, "I'm Italian babe, that should answer that question." He smiled her way and winked, "But I love a good roast too."

Shannon just sat for a moment and stared at him as a frown crossed her features "you've got to be kidding......"

He sliced a piece off of his portion of roast and started to chew, a pleasured groan echoing from his throat. "Kidding bout what babe?"

"Mel, she told me just make ya spaghetti but I didn't wanna..." She shook her head and gave a light laugh before turning her attention to her own plate taking a small bite.

He set his fork down and watched her. "Listen, Its ok, shit no one's cooked for just me before. I mean hell Joan cooks sure, and mom for the family, but no one has just cooked for ME, and its good ok?"

She felt like she would burst at his words but she kept the happiness tapped down and just gave him a beaming grin "I'm glad you like it," she said softly and took another bite.

After a few moments of quiet eating she looked up " Are you always so quiet?"

His brow flicked up and he winced. Hell he did come across as quiet, of course he had to be right now, but she didn't know that. Maybe he needed to take a bit of Sambora's advice, at least in this. "Uh, well yeah I guess I am. Have to be when I'm off duty."

She nodded, somehow feeling comfort in the knowledge that it wasn't just her he was not open to. "Can I ask why?"

He shrugged, "It's not a secret, I had some throat problems last year, vocal chords. So to not lose the ability to sing I tend to baby my throat off stage. Give it time to heal. I don't talk a lot to not stress the voice cuz man if I couldn't sing? Be out there doing what I do? It would kill me."

She listened intently, watching his face as he spoke, finally opening up to her just the slightest bit. She nodded understanding "I guess that’s one article I missed," she said lightly. "You'd disappoint a lot of people too.... that must be... a lot to handle."

"You ain’t handled anything til they stick a fuckin' long needle in your throat to numb shit babe. Trust me."

She winced and rubbed her own throat. "Why can’t you just... take time off? I mean... maybe its a stupid question but all I know about the business is the music ya know... but .. aren’t you the boss? Bon Jovi, don't you call the shots? If your health is in danger?"

"My name is on the contract yeah, but I have a manager, there's a payroll to make, a record company who wants to make a profit on the chance they took on us. We have to tour, keep the name out there, keep the songs fresh. Never ending circle babe, never ending." he leaned back as surprise filtered through him. He never talked about this shit to women, it was reserved for the guys, but she listened too intently.

"And now we have a new album coming out, means more touring so..." She might be a fan, but he didn't think she'd talk, at least not with her sister involved in this too. "So thats how it goes, its just a cycle of go go go, if you wanna make money you have to."

His voice grew softer, "Then I gotta prove myself, the guys wanna prove themselves, prove that we aren’t a flash in the pan, we aren't just hair or flashy clothes. That takes a lot of work babe. A LOT."

She nodded only really half understanding. It sounded like a lot of hassle to her, but if it was something he enjoyed doing, she could understand why he would put up with it. She looked at him, taking in his last words. What did he have to prove? That he was a brilliant singer? A man dedicated to something he loved? " Well.... I'm not sure what you have to prove... the hair... I hate to tell you this sweetie but um... you could use a trim... can we say damage?" she chuckled a bit "And as for the clothes........ While your style can be um... interesting to say the least if you didn’t sing or write the way you do, I wouldn't care if you were the male equivalent of Aphrodite, I wouldn't be interested in the band."

It hit him then, what her chosen profession was and he was tempted to cover his head. "Umm I swore after the last shave my dad gave me I wouldn't EVER let anyone cut my hair again. That's what the bandanas and scarves are for babe." He smiled as it sank in, her belief in his talent. "Thanks, not many think we have what it takes, but ya know what I say to that?"

"Probably screw you?" she laughed

“I tell 'em to come see us live then say that. Then I say fuck you if they don’t." He winked and leaned into the table, “but enough about me."

She smiled "Ok.. enough about you." She was happy, he'd let her in... just a little.. it was a start. She wouldn't push, that might only make him close up again "so......” she stood to clear the table .. “whatcha wanna do now?"

He stood and lifted his plate, ready to help with the cleaning up. "Oh, lots of things, but for now let’s settle with talking." Man its not what he wanted to do, he wanted to plow into her til she screamed, but that wasn't to be. "I think there’s some things we need to talk about."

She carried some of the dishes to the counter near the sink and looked back over her shoulder a little surprised. " Talk... ok..." let me just clean up a bit so Mel don’t have a cow...." She rinsed the few dishes and quickly settled them in the sink to soak "there that’s good enough"

He laughed and held his hand out, waiting on her to take it. "Works for me if it works for you."

She smiled as she took his hand, "works for me."

He took a seat on the couch and watched as she settled herself beside him, watched as her dark brown eyes studied him curiously and sighed. "You ain’t making this easy."

She raised his hand to her lips and pressed a delicate kiss there "Making what easy?"

"Any of it." He twisted his hand, taking hers in a firm grip and lowered it. "You're a gorgeous lady, and I'm, fuck I'm just a guy ok, but I won't let you or me fall into a trap too early. I can't be here for you like you need a guy, not now." He nearly growled then kept going. "I could take you right now and fuck you until you screamed, hell I want too, but I ain't gonna do that."

He watched her eyes go wide and he hurried to finish. "You need the guy to be here the day after, the week after, to finish cherishing you and I can't do that, it wouldn't be fair to you."

She swallowed hard and looked down. "I.. I understand, your a busy guy I..." She took a deep shaky breath. She'd expected this, honestly she had, just not so soon. Maybe when he had to leave, but not now not before they even had a chance to... to try to know each other.

"I don't expect... prince charming and red roses and......."

He leaned into her, one finger going to her chin to lift her face. "No, stop." He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips before continuing. "You deserve roses. I ain’t no prince charming, I’m just a Jersey boy. I just think you deserve more than sex. I can give ya sex, shit I can give you lots of it, but I can't make promises right now, and you deserve more than that. I want to keep ya in my life though. Fair or not."

She blinked rapidly willing herself not to act like a fool. Forcing herself to get her crashing emotions under control. How was this possible? That she felt so... attached to him, she felt......she'd thought.....

Damn it she should have known.. Mel was always telling her dreaming was a no win alley.

She sucked her breath in and did her best to pretend it was ok. "I understand really... friends.....you can never have too many right..." Her soft voice wavered just a tiny bit as she picked up the remote and clicked it to on. She settled herself next to him and went silent, her attention now on whatever comedy the channel was running.

At least it happened now and not later after she really... fell for him.